The Parables of Palin

The Kwitter on the Shitter

jscottg — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 01:33:51 +0000

Hollywood Life also deftly field dresses the myth of the mighty self sufficient just plain folksy ReaLAMErican gal [h/t YAFB]:

Just to put this is perspective, the Palins could have filled their freezer with ribeye steak at $10.99 a lb. from Alaska’s Mr. Prime Beef, which is based in Anchorage and ships anywhere in the state.

Don’t Retreat

jscottg — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 01:58:03 +0000

We”ll have a bang up time, you betcha!

But she sure loves talking about it

jscottg — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 03:35:32 +0000

I hate violence. I hate war. Our children will not have peace if politicos just capitalize on this to succeed in portraying anyone as inciting terror and violence.

Translation:

If I mention children that will make up for the fact that my yapper may play a part in the death of a nine year old girl!

Huh.

jscottg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:01:51 +0000

I suppose I should do something with this goshdarned thing one of these goshdarned days.

Check this out while I do battle with the king crab-sized dust bunnies. Maybe I can shoot them from a plane or something.

Also:

First the Obama Administration opened up the possibility of prosecuting CIA interrogators doing their jobs seeking information from terrorists. Then they tried to go after the Bush Administration lawyers who acted in good faith to protect us in the months after 9/11. Now some of the military brass are court-martialing three brave Navy SEALs for allegedly throwing a single punch at Iraqi terrorist leader Ahmed Hashim Abed. This is wrong. The Washington Times got it right: Save the SEALs.

Lo, the time is almost upon us

jscottg — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:57:28 +0000

And She did step down from the high places promising, “Verily I shall speak unto the masses in the language of the Twit” (via AssPress):

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin steps down Sunday giving few clues about her political future, which has been clouded by ethics probes, mounting legal bills and dwindling popularity.A few things are known: She is scheduled to speak Aug. 8 at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in California, and has said she plans to write a book, campaign for political candidates from coast to coast and build a right-of-center coalition.

She also plans to continue speaking her mind on the social networking site Twitter.

But those who craved the wisdom of Palin feared they would not understand her teachings, and they did cry out, saying “Shit, I can barely understand Her when she speaks in full sentences!”

Fear not, a prophet was chosen to explain the Parables of Palin unto that of the masses who have more than three brain cells.

Youbetcha.

EXAKGov. Palin did not

jscottg — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 01:41:30 +0000

Offer to show us her tweets in a lewd and lacivious manner. Also.

Almost Ex-Gov. Palin’s Op-Ed in the Washington Post

jscottg — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 02:09:11 +0000

Was not written by 1,000,000 simians whacking away at typewriters.

How do you spell Youbetcha?

We vigorously object to any suggestion…

jscottg — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:40:41 +0000

… that Sarah Palin did something nasty in the woodshed.

Pamper Greenbean Doodlebug Palin is conceived

Don’t you dare suggest ExAkGov. Palin huffs glue

jscottg — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 02:36:54 +0000

[via the eternally brilliant Kevin K.]:

To my knowledge

jscottg — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:02:56 +0000

Governor Palin doesn’t have a meth lab in her backyard.